|The Tootoo Train|
Now, I'm sure you are now asking "What does this awesome guy look like?" Well, friends, too put it simply, I'm tall, dark, and handsome. I can most likely bench press Todd Bertuzzi and run faster than Darren Helm could speed across the slick surface of Joe Louis Arena. But that's not all, I have a head that surpasses Ken Holland AND Nick Lidstrom. Combined. It's okay, be jealous.
This may come as a surprise to you after reading that last mind-blowing paragraph but I do have one incredibly large fear. Heights. It makes my stomach twist and turn, my head scramble, and my legs begin to turn into Jell-o. I'm okay with most things, I'll talk myself into, say, going on a terrifyingly huge roller coaster (I'm looking at you, Millennium Force) but that doesn't mean my body and mind are very happy with me afterwords.
The player you most love to hate: I mulled this question over for all of 20 seconds. It was a relatively easy choice. Jordin "Choo Choo Train" Tootoo. What a name this kid has, I mean, it does all the work for me. Mr.Tootoo enjoys flying in from the top of the circle and targeting any jersey painted red within his field of vision. Usually with an intention of putting them out for the game. I am not sure why the NHL has decided against enforcing the old "charging" rule these days, but goodness, if that was still being whistled this man would be out of work. What gets to me most though is those damn train whistles. Every single fan in Bridgestone Arena seems to absolutely love piercing the mics of our wonderful FSN feed when this man hits the ice. I can't imagine what it must feel like to Mickey Redmonds old ears when he partakes on the occasional away trip. Between that and the always-catchy but ever-annoying "Chelsea Dagger" blarred at the United Center I'm not sure what could drive a Wings fan further to insanity.
It also doesn't help that Jordin Tootoo managed to score his first ever playoff goal against our beloved Red Wings. Fortunately for us, that was also in route to our 2008 Stanely Cup, so no hard feelings, Jordin. And don't get me wrong, I would most likely respect the guy if he found his way onto the Wings. High-energy, a fan favorite. But going up against him, knowing every time he steps on the ice you will hear those train whistles blistering throughout the stadium and see him skating around like a chicken with his head cut off. I just pray that none of our star players steps out on the ice at the same time as this man, but unfortunately it is inevitable. We have seen one too many injuries the past couple years and as long as players like Tootoo and Carcillo are in our division, that fear of future injuries at the hands of these menaces will loom.
Anyways, our goal here is to bring some different, opinionated views on the Red Wings with an added twist of quality artwork. If you believe you can write and illustrate up to par, please shoot an e-mail to firstname.lastname@example.org and we can work something out. We are always looking for new sides to every story!
Post the player you most love to hate in the comments!